Conflict Resolution

As I have mentioned in the past I am a center director of an early childhood learning center.   I hired a new staff member about 3 months ago that was recently transitioned into a new preschool classroom.  My assistant and I have felt that this teacher is really struggling in this particular age group and needs additional training.  On top of that, I have has a couple parent concerns brought to my attention that they feel she is not doing well and the classroom seems out of control.  In a perfect world, I would have pulled her out of the classroom and completed one on one training with her to ensure that she was comfortable with routines, curriculum and classroom management techniques.  Because our world in early childhood is not always perfect, I went with another choice.  I chose to pull her from that particular classroom and place her as a co-teacher in another classroom.  The idea is to pair her with a strong teacher with whom she can learn the routines, curriculum, and classroom management techniques and become proficient.  Once she and I both feel confident that she can lead a classroom on her own, she would then be given her own room.

The conflict arose because this teacher feels like she is doing well and was beginning to feel comfortable with the classroom.  When sitting down and having a conversation with her, I did not ask much of her opinion.  I basically told her what my decision was and provided some backup reasons to my ‘why’.  The teacher was in tears and felt she was being given a demotion.  

Due to the communication and conflict strategies I have learned this week, I am circling back around to speak to the teacher again.  Had I known these strategies earlier, I feel my conversation may have gone more smoothly.  If I would have used the knowledge of Magda Gerber’s 3 R’s, I think the conversation would have been more of a two-way conversation versus one-way.  I should have been more responsive to her individual needs and come to a compromise.  If I would have spoken more about the goal of additional training being beneficial for her and the children maybe the teacher would not have felt isolated and attacked.

I would have also used Marshall B. Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication principles.  Although I did not get violent or even raise my voice during our conversation, I feel like I did not use empathetic listening.  Listening to another during conversation is critical.  People express their observations, feelings, needs and requests during conversation and it is crucial to hear them out so that a compromise can be obtained.  

My goal is to circle back and have a follow up conversation with this teacher using Magda Gerber’s 3 R’s as well as Marshall B. Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication principles.    I would like to find a broader range of solutions that both the teacher and I are comfortable with.

Communication Assessments

The assessment assignment was a clarifying experience.  As I took the assessments, it really made me think about who I am as a communicator and how I interact with others.  The responses of my husband and co-worker were very similar to mine, which confirmed my original answers in a professional setting.  

My husband made a statement that really opened my eyes to who I am.  He stated that his answers would have been different if he was thinking about my personal communication style versus my professional communication style.  This statement has made me do additional reflecting on who I am and what changes I need to make in order to make my styles more compatible.  For fun, I took the assessments a second time thinking more on a personal style and he was correct, my scores were quite different.  

“Our thoughts and cognitions influence how and what we communicate to others and at the same time influence the way that we interpret the behaviors and messages that others send to us." (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 38).  Self-concept can be very influential during communication with others.  Past experiences and the way we view ourselves all affects communication.  In thinking about this statement, I am reminded to stop and think before talking as to not let my personal schemas affect the message that I send to others. 

Reference:

O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

 

Communicating and Cultural Diversity

I find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures.  In discussions with people from my own culture, or a culture I am familiar with, I am more comfortable and relaxed during conversations.  This allows for easy two way dialogue.  When communicating with people from other cultures that I am not well educated about, my anxiety level rises and I feel as though I have no similarities to share.  As I write this statement, I am ashamed and now realize there are different approaches to ensuring that I am comfortable in getting to know families with different backgrounds than I. 

In order to communicate more effectively I will continue to ask questions and listen effectively.  When communicating with someone from another background, asking questions and then pausing to listen is a simple technique for gathering information and also for confirming the accuracy of your expectations and assumptions (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  Doing so will help reduce the uncertainty and bridge our differences in order to have better communication skills.  A second strategy that I will use to communicate more effectively is to continue to seek information about cultures in order to enhance intercultural communication.  Seeking information helps manage the uncertainty and anxiety that we may feel when we interact with people who are different from us (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  A third strategy is to recognize my intentions.  An intention is a cognitive construct in the sense that it forms a part of our thought process (Vuckovic, 2008).  Misunderstandings can  be encountered during communication due to language difficulties and cultural differences in the expression of intentions.  

Non-Verbal Communication

I chose to watch an episode that my teenage daughter watches frequently, Pretty Little Liars.  As I watched the episode without sound I was profoundly aware of body language and facial expressions.  The show appeared predominately about four teenage girls.  I gathered from the setting and the body language that they were close friends.  In the beginning the girls were sitting around talking and a list one of them had.  The expressions from one friend to another were quite different.  While one friend’s facial expression appeared to be happy, another was rolling their eyes.  It was definitely an expression filled dialogue.  The whole episode was hard to follow without sound, because it kept jumping from scene to scene.  However, through body language and facial expressions, I was able to conclude that the girls were in some sort of trouble or had many struggles they were facing.    

As I watched the episode again with sound, I found that many of my observations and assumptions were close to my original observations without sound.  The characters were involved in some trouble that they were trying to hide, as well as some trouble that they were each trying to uncover.  Body language was very expressive throughout the episode.  Each of the actors showed looks of happiness, worry, fear, disgust and annoyance throughout the episode.  My assumptions would have been more accurate if I had been watching a show that I was familiar with versus one in which I have never watched before.  

This experience was very enlightening for me.  By only watching body language and facial expressions the characters revealed much about the story line.  It is amazing what these two things can say without the use of words.  My “aha” moment came from this thought in thinking about my own facial expressions and body language when speaking to others.  I need to be very aware of what my body and face are saying as well as the words coming out of my mouth.